WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO NETWORK?
“Networking” is a common industry term that fills some actors with total fear and dread. Mostly because of this perceived hierarchy in the industry that puts some people on unnecessary pedestals, while leaving actors feeling like they’re scrambling on the floor, crying out to be noticed. I’ve been to events like that before and they just feel…icky. I’ve found, over the years, that dedicated “networking events”, or industry gatherings that are seen as a “great place to network” are usually just full of people so concerned about how they’re coming across to each other that they don’t actually listen, connect, or ‘network’ at all. Like we’re all playing this game of pandering to the smoke and mirrors aspect of this industry and trying to make out like we’re the version of ourselves we think the other person will find interesting enough to remember. When was the last time you made a lasting connection with someone feeling like that?
When thinking of ‘networking’ you often conjure up images of crowded events, awkwardly trying to hand out business cards or attempting to find the perfect moment to pitch yourself to as many ‘connections’ as possible. But the truth is, true networking doesn’t have to be transactional, forced, or even involve a party at all. (Hoorah for all my fellow social anxiety hermits!)
I believe that true networking is about building genuine relationships. It’s like planting seeds, not for instant gratification, but for long-term growth. So if these are working relationships you’d like to have long term, then you want to make sure you’re connecting for the right reasons. Here at ‘Acting With Alexa’ it’s all about a person-first, heart-centred approach. I believe this is how we should approach ‘networking’ as well. As actors, we’ll come into contact with countless industry professionals over the years. Casting directors, directors, producers, assistants, stage managers, musical directors, 1st/2nd/3rd AD’s, grips, gaffers, writers, filmmakers, dramaturg’s..the list is endless. If we only view them as their job title first there’ll always be this barrier of “what can they do for me and how can I be impressive to them”. Attitudes like that, no matter how subconscious, keeps a wall up between you. Instead, notice what these people are like as just that..people. Not only will it make your connection genuine, but it will give you more to go on as the years go by. And look at it the other way around too! Sure, a CD could remember you for your talent, charm and skill set. But there are plenty of other actors who are also talented, charming and skillful! You are so much more than what you offer merely professionally or externally. Figuring out what really makes you, you, will help connect you with people that align with your aims and ethos so that you’re not just connecting to anyone and everyone, but the people right for you and your journey.
Connecting with someone organically helps get rid of this expectation of hypothetical outcomes. Which, in turn, actually makes outcomes you hoped for more likely, because others will want to work with you because they want to work with you. Not because you were impressive at networking, have a high IMDb star meter reading, and can play the fiddle. So first thing’s first, know, and love, who you are outside of being an actor - because there’s so much more to you than your CV.
Back to sowing seeds…I have been thinking a lot about this recently. I just completed filming the lead role in a feature film playing a character that was written for me specifically to play. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with a challenging script that served for an unforgettable experience. But this film would not have happened if it wasn’t for this chain of events…
1) It’s 2021. Peak pandemic. I’m scrolling on a casting site and see an audition notice for a short horror film. It was one of those moments where you weigh up the pros and cons and make a choice based on what you want to do, not what you think you should do. It was an unpaid student film which I hadn’t done in a while, but the brief interested me, the writing was good, and I’d much rather be on set for 2 days than on my couch, when the entire industry had pretty much shut down. It would also give me a chance to, you guessed it, ‘network.’
After submitting a self tape I got a callback and made a point to, in the zoom call, mention how much I (genuinely) loved the writing of the script. What I didn’t know was that the writer was also in that zoom call as a hidden viewer…
(Planting the seed)
2) Excitingly, I got the role! And filming went great. I was really taken by the writer’s snappy dialogue and, because he wasn’t at the shoot so I wasn’t able to connect with him, I dropped him an email instead. (This is something I would have done whether I booked the role or not!) I introduced myself, complimented his writing, and asked if there was anything else he was working on as I’m always intrigued by reading new scripts and proofs of concepts. (Watering the seed)
3) The writer, Phil, responded with how pleased he was I got the role and that, yes, he was working on a few new films scripts. I asked to read them, I did, and got back to him with my thoughts.
(Shining sun on the seed)
4) We ended up exchanging a few more emails as we had a lot in common and had similar film interests and goals within the industry. I asked questions, told him about myself, sent him some of my writing, and we even collaborated on some story ideas.
(Sprouts shoot from the seed…see where I’m going here?)
5) It’s now 3 years later, we’ve wanted to work on a feature together this whole time, and Phil worked incredibly hard to get funding. Knowing how hard it is to get funding for anything these days, he made the script as simple as possible; two actors, one location, with a stylistic choice of the film being broken into just 6 single takes. To pull this off, he needed actors he could trust. So he wrote the script for me and the other actor from the short film that I worked with to play the two roles. Not only that but the character had elements that were inspired by me, my thoughts/frustrations/opinions/passions. If I had only ever spoken to Phil with my actor hat on, he may have never seen parts of me that ended up inspiring a script. Even more so, if I had never sent that first email to begin with - this film wouldn’t have happened at all!
(The seed is now a flower)
When it comes to connecting with someone who later recommended me for something else, called me back years later, wanted to work with me there and then, or agreed to help me out making my own work, I have a story like that for many of my acting jobs, more so than jobs I’ve got from the traditional audition -> callbacks -> booking route. This industry is more about nurturing relationships you may find along the way, than it is about emailing 150 people and hoping a couple stick. And they don’t just come from acting jobs!
So what are some other ways networking looks like?
Attending a workshop or class
Following up with someone after an audition
Collaborating on a creative project
Grabbing coffee with a fellow actor or creative
Making a note of any professional you work with
Sharing people’s social media posts
Following the journey of a creative project and sending words of encouragement to those involved
Joining an online community
Monologue slams/scratch nights/1-1’s with industry professionals
Attending industry events you actually enjoy to connect with people, not just for the opportunity to ‘network’
Going to local film festivals
Stay in touch with people you meet and vibe with
Some of the strongest industry connections come from shared experiences, mutual respect, and helping each other out - far more impactful than a fleeting exchange at a networking event. Being generous is one of the best ways to network. Recommend someone for a role they’re perfect for, share an opportunity, or celebrate their success on social media. When you show up for others without expecting anything in return, people will remember you as someone they trust and admire.
So, don’t worry if you hate schmoozing. Networking can be as simple as engaging in an honest conversation with someone on set, dropping a thoughtful thank-you email to a director, or supporting the work of others. It’s not about the quantity of connections—it’s about the quality.
Start small. Build relationships with the people you naturally gravitate toward, and let your passion and professionalism speak for themselves. You never know when a connection you’ve nurtured will open doors to exciting opportunities. It could be next week, next year, or next decade. So build relationships with those you like being connected with, whatever happens in the meantime.
I hope this was helpful! Click here to read the last column “Is it a bad time to be looking for an agent while the industry is quiet?”
If you have a question or query, feel free to email actingwithalexa@gmail.com !
Alexa